That's confusing I'm sure. Let me explain. I am a full time nanny. I take care of three beautiful children for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I know that I am NOT their mother and never will be, I do mother them. Let me repeat something before we move on so no one freaks out. I know I am not their mother and never will be. The have a fabulous mother and father and I am blessed to be working for them and to be entrusted by them to take care of their children 10 hours a day. That being said I do mother them. If they get hurt while I'm here I kiss the boo boo. When they are disobedient, or sometimes just downright mean to each other, I discipline them. I feed them, dress, them, put them to bed for nap time, answer deep questions from Hailey that seemingly come from no where. I know Rylan's different cries and Hannah's different fits. I know what each child will and will not eat and try to come up with new fun ways to get them to try things. (I often fail at this. Who knew eating would be one of the most difficult parts of taking care of children?!)
Here is the part that stops me dead in my tracks sometimes. They know me. They know that I love Jesus. They know my heart is with them and in Uganda. They know when I'm losing my patience. They know when I'm not giving them 100% of my attention. They know when I'm not engaged at all.
Lately this has been a struggle for me. To be engaged here and now. I have so many other things happening and coming in the near future that easily take my attention.
I love my kids in a way I didn't know was possible! This family has given me purpose for the here and now which was an answer to many prayers. I am getting real life experience for raising children! I am bathed in the unconditional love of three kids every day. I want to love these children well. I want to point them to Jesus every day.
A couple new friends of mine have said something like this to me at least once if not multiple times, "live in the present while you are still in the states. You don't want to find yourself wishing for or only planning for Uganda while you are home, or home while you are in Uganda. Live in the present." That has been something I really strive to do daily but fail at some days. I want to give Hailey, Hannah, and Rylan 100% of me until I leave. I want to make sure they know Jesus. I want them to know that Jesus loves them. I want them to know that I love them because Jesus loves them. Some days I fall short of loving them well. Some days I lose my patience. Some days I just want to get through the day instead of live in the day. Sometimes, I miss opportunities to point them to Jesus. I am thankful for a God that redeems and loves despite my failures. I don't know the kind of despair I would be living in if it was up to me to be good enough. But I also want to give Him my best because He gave me His best! I am forgiven for my failures and His mercies are new every day! I want to worship Him with my best!
I have really been thinking about this over the weekend and this morning. When I put the kids to bed for nap time I got out my lunch and my phone and got on twitter (bad habit.) I came across Jamie Ivey's blog and a pod cast about her Year of Motherhood Challenge. Basically she wanted to be more intentional with her children so she made new goals for each month and set out to be a better mother. I think what I loved most about her goals is that they were simple and I could relate. One of her goals was to not be on her computer when the kids were home. CONVICTION! I so often find myself zoning out on my phone while the girls play by themselves rather than playing with them or talking to them while they play. Sure they like to play alone sometimes, but in 4 months I'll be in Uganda and I won't have the opportunity to watch them play anymore.
After reading her blog for a while and listening to her podcast I decided that this conviction wasn't going to change me unless I took action. I may not have a year but I do have 4 months (give or take a week or two) left with my kids and I want to be intentional.
I have decided to do a 12 Weeks of Nannyhood Challenge. :-)
Week 1- No electronics while the girls are awake. No phone, IPad, tv, nothing. (Except to answer texts from their mom haha)
Week 2- Actually listen to what Hannah and Hailey are saying and answer accordingly. No uh huh's and ok's just to pacify them. Real listening. Real answers.
Week 3- Be intentional with our conversations this week. Point them to Jesus every time we talk.
Week 4- Play with Rylan when he is awake and the girls are sleeping. Don't just put him in his bouncer to get stuff done the whole time. Play with him.
Week 5- Have an exciting craft or game planned for the days that both girls are home. Think outside of my box.
Week 6- Spend one on one time with each kid twice this week.
Week 7- Love them well. Be gracious when they mess up. Give lots of hugs and kisses and say I love you until they are tired of hearing it.
Week 8- Make creative and FUN healthy lunches! Think outside my usual healthy lunch box.
Week 9- Tell Hannah and Hailey that they are lovely and beautiful and wanted. Tell Rylan that he is handsome and strong. (even though he may not understand yet!)
Week 10- Say yes when I would normally say no at least once a day. (Obviously to things that wouldn't harm the kids.)
Week 11- Repeat week 7. They need to know they are loved so very much!!!
Week 12- Repeat week 3. They also need to know that Jesus loves them more than I ever could.
(Disclaimer- I DID take most of my ideas for this from what Jamie Ivey did with her children. I am not smart or wise enough to come up with any of this. Thanks Jamie for being awesome and a real life super hero for me even though I don't know you personally.)
So there it is. My 12 Weeks of Nannyhood Challenge. Jesus help me to follow through each week and not give up when I fail, because I will. Now I have to go because my kids are waking up and I can't be on the computer when they are awake!
-Callie
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