Being a pseudo mom

These days I'm a pseudo mom. My room is full of baby things and I carry sippy cups, rattles and diapers around in my purse. I know she isn't mine to keep. I still take her home to her parents every night. But during the days I'm her mom. Ana is a beautiful 2 year old girl that is much too small. She fits into size 3 diapers and 3-6 month onesies. Her parents are unable to care for her and her sister Chede, so they asked a friend to take them and care for them. This friend is wonderful and an amazing mother but also has a lot of children of her own and isn't able to give Ana the type of care she will need to grow and develop into a strong 2 year old. So we all decided that they would bring Ana to me in the mornings and I would keep her during the day and make sure she is eating well and work on a few other things that 2 year olds should do but she isn't. I could write about this all day but I'll spare you. Instead, here a just a few things I've learned and want to share:

1.) God's grace is sufficient! Oh how this is becoming real to me. There are days when I don't feel like I can face what she needs from me. Days when I feel completely inadequate. But God's grace is sufficient and He always gives me His strength to continue to love and care for Ana.

2.) I have the best mother in the whole world! I would never have even known where to begin caring for Ana if it weren't for my mother. Thank you mommy!

3.) There is no way to love and care for this baby girl fully while trying to hold back my heart. I know that she has parents who love her and long to be able to care for her. I know she isn't mine. I know I'm leaving in a little over 2 months. But I also know that she deserves all of me, even if it is going to hurt a lot more to say goodbye. 

Please continue to pray for Ana and the countless other children that need extra care and nutrition. Pray for me also that The Lord would guide me and that I would have the strength to continue to give her all of me and trust that she is in the lords hands when it is time to walk away. Thank you!