Finally an Update!

Where to begin?! I guess with an apology. I know I haven't been the greatest at posting blog updates and I'm truly sorry. Life happens, even here in Uganda, and I always seem to be busy with other things. So with that I will also warn you that this post may be all over the road. I'm going to attempt to cover a lot of what has been going on but it may not be as cohesive as I would like. In fact, I think I'll just use headings and try to at least keep it somewhat organized that way.

IChooseYou-

The children are on Holiday! I really hate to rub this in but... I get to see the kids EVERY DAY! It's amazing! Let me tell you, it literally fills my heart with joy to see their beautiful faces every day. There is a pretty specific group of children that come to the "club" every day. (The ones that haven't gotten too old and too cool for coming to see me.) We play and laugh and I give out hundreds of hugs and thousands of kisses. They greet me in the morning with hugs and a sweet request to "assist me the game!" The game, Temple Run, is definitely cooler than I am. That is until they realize that Temple Run can't take them to the supermarket! Oh, the supermarket... Let me try to accurately describe our trips to the supermarket. It usually begins with me taking the game away and then announcing as quietly as I can that we are going to the supermarket. I say it quietly because I absolutely LOVE to see their faces as each of them register what I've just said. Once they do, it is sheer chaos. A group of usually about 15-20 kids and I then start walking down the road to Paradise. They take turns running in front and behind, fighting over my hands, asking me questions, singing and teasing each other. People stare. Oh my do they stare. And the children love the stares! They giggle, hold their heads high and grip my hand a little tighter as we walk past people that stare. Sometimes people make comments in Luganda or another language I don't understand, and I have a chorus of little voices translating for me. eventually we arrive at the supermarket in Paradise. The first couple times we went the man working the counter tried to chase the kids away before he realized they were with me! Now he knows, I'm the crazy mzungu that brings all of her children in for sweets sometimes. Usually before we get to the supermarket we discuss the price range of what they are allowed to get. Once we enter they start the search and the man working helps them decide on what they are getting. Then he counts them as they walk out so that I can pay. while I pay they wait, whisper, compare (even though they almost always get the same thing) and smile from ear to ear. then once I come out they playfully argue over who is going to carry the bag and my purse etc. we make the march back up to the club and when we get back they run wild showing their moms and playing and eating whatever it is that they got that day. The supermarket is fun because they get sweets, but it is so much more than that. The supermarket is a time when the children get to be children. They get to know, and I mean really know, that I love them because Jesus loves them. The supermarket trips provide a time when they get to ask me questions and tell me about themselves without distractions. It reinforces our little family a little more each time. I know they like the sweets, what child wouldn't, but I also know that the sweets would mean nothing without the trip to get them. I am seriously loving this time!

Amina-

I have the best job in the whole world! Being at the club with the Amina moms is too much fun. I can hardly call it work. A couple weeks ago one of my best friends from home came to visit me. The moms had been waiting for this week since we first began working on the new products for Amina. We were working overtime trying to get everything ready for Kyle to take back home with her. It was crazy! I don't know what I would have done without Kyle there. I needed about 5 of me and she made up for at least two or 3 of that. As life would have it I got sick with a bacterial infection in my stomach about half way through the week. God works all things for the good of those that love him and trust him. It was a blessing in disguise for me to get sick and have to back down. When I backed down the moms stepped up and I got to watch them shine! They had beautiful ideas for designs. They managed themselves wonderfully, only really needing me a few times for little things or questions. They worked together as a team, more like a family, to get everything done. God is good. Kyle, like I mentioned before, was a life saver! She organized the club and made sure everyone had what they needed to work efficiently. She took care of me and graciously put up with my crazy. Trust me, there was crazy, and it wasn't pretty. By the time the week was over we packed almost two full suitcases to send back with Kyle to America. There are tons of new designs in jewelry, bags, scarves, etc. so keep your eyes open for the new and improved Amina products! Have I mentioned that I love my job? Thank you Jesus. You are too good to me.

Hope-

Baby Hope is still in the nutrition center. For those of you that don't know the story I'll try to give the short sweet version. One day one of my Amina moms pulled me aside and told me she had a friend staying with her that has a sick baby and asked me to just come look. I was reluctant because I had committed to taking care of Ana already and there was another baby that lives near her that I was trying to help. Hilda asked me again and then when I hesitated took advantage of the moment and grabbed my hand and lead me inside. Wise woman. This poor baby girl was sick. She was clearly severely malnourished and not well. As I held her praying about what to do I had the thought to ask what her name was. When Hilda told me her name was Hope it was as if the Lord said to me directly, "There is still hope! Stop for this one." So I called a mzungu friend that has more medical knowledge than I do and he came. My Ugandan friend Paul came inside with the mzungu friend I had called and as we looked at her my mzungu friend confirmed what I pretty much already knew, this was bad and the best plan of action was to take her to the main hospital and get her in the nutrition center. As we told Hilda and she told the mom the mom kept saying no. She was scared and didn't understand exactly how sick her baby girl really was. Thankfully Paul was there and he gently but firmly told her that her child was much more sick than she realized and if she didn't take her in, it was only going to get worse. Finally with tears in her eyes the mom agreed and we immediately packed up and took Hope to the hospital. Now she is in the nutrition center and is improving by the day. Hope is no where near healthy and normal for a three year old, but she has almost improved enough to be released. She was going to be released this week but she and her mom both got malaria and that set her back a bit. Hopefully it wont be too much longer. Please pray that the mom would be able to provide Hope with the types of foods that will keep her on the path to becoming a normal, healthy little girl. If not, I'm afraid Hope will end up back in the same situation as before and may not make it.

Ana-

Ana is growing and changing by the day! She is still entirely too small for her age but she is eating and she has really started playing and interacting more like a normal two year old. She has even started trying to talk more! Chede gets jealous at times but she is beginning to realize that Ana was sick and she needed help to get better. The biggest change I have seen in her is how alert she has become. She doesn't seem as groggy or like she is in pain anymore. She is alert, active and happy! Keep praying for her as she still has a long road ahead of her. Pray for me too! Leaving in 8 weeks is going to rip my heart apart. I need prayer for extra trust as I leave her in two months. It is going to take every ounce of trust and faith that I have to place both Ana and Chede in the Lords hands and trust Him to take care of them as I walk away for a season.

Teko Brian-

My sweet baby boy has been sick for a long time. Finally I decided enough was enough and I took him to the doctor that I go to. Turns out he had malaria and typhoid and they wanted to keep him for a drip and for treatments. He was scared and had a bit of a traumatic experience with the IV and it nearly broke my heart. Finally things settled and his sister arrived. She told me that his Jaja had just left to go be with his mother in the village because she is very sick and took a turn for the worse. Pray for Teko Brian and his family please. Nine years old is too young to lose your mom. Pray for complete healing for her and that she would be able to be with her children again.

My Future Plans-

Pray for me please! I will be needing to make some tough decisions about my future soon and no matter what I choose it is going to be bittersweet and hard. I have come to the realization that my heart will always be in two places. I am depending on the Lord to lead me to his will and take care of the rest. As of now I'm still not sure what the future holds. I would really appreciate prayers for guidance and a peace that passes understanding when I come to a decision. Thank you!


I think that covers most of what has been going on around here lately. It has been a busy but joy filled season and I couldn't be more thankful for this time!

Being a pseudo mom

These days I'm a pseudo mom. My room is full of baby things and I carry sippy cups, rattles and diapers around in my purse. I know she isn't mine to keep. I still take her home to her parents every night. But during the days I'm her mom. Ana is a beautiful 2 year old girl that is much too small. She fits into size 3 diapers and 3-6 month onesies. Her parents are unable to care for her and her sister Chede, so they asked a friend to take them and care for them. This friend is wonderful and an amazing mother but also has a lot of children of her own and isn't able to give Ana the type of care she will need to grow and develop into a strong 2 year old. So we all decided that they would bring Ana to me in the mornings and I would keep her during the day and make sure she is eating well and work on a few other things that 2 year olds should do but she isn't. I could write about this all day but I'll spare you. Instead, here a just a few things I've learned and want to share:

1.) God's grace is sufficient! Oh how this is becoming real to me. There are days when I don't feel like I can face what she needs from me. Days when I feel completely inadequate. But God's grace is sufficient and He always gives me His strength to continue to love and care for Ana.

2.) I have the best mother in the whole world! I would never have even known where to begin caring for Ana if it weren't for my mother. Thank you mommy!

3.) There is no way to love and care for this baby girl fully while trying to hold back my heart. I know that she has parents who love her and long to be able to care for her. I know she isn't mine. I know I'm leaving in a little over 2 months. But I also know that she deserves all of me, even if it is going to hurt a lot more to say goodbye. 

Please continue to pray for Ana and the countless other children that need extra care and nutrition. Pray for me also that The Lord would guide me and that I would have the strength to continue to give her all of me and trust that she is in the lords hands when it is time to walk away. Thank you! 

She Calls Me Mama...and other good gifts I may never get over

I took Chede swimming at Mount Elgon hotel last weekend. It was amazing. She was terrified of the water but loved being in it as long as she was in my arms. She eventually loosened her grip around my neck and splashed around some. She even let me teach her how to swim for a while! We ordered pizza (which she did NOT like) and chips, aka french fries. She ate an entire plate of chips by herself and loved every minute of it!
We were walking to the pool chairs after getting sodas and I wasn't holding her hand because I had the drinks. My friend Paul had come with us to help me translate since she doesn't speak English very well. Paul loves to Tease Chede, and I don't remember exactly what he was doing but he was teasing her somehow and that's when she said it. She called me mama. Now she and I both know I am not her mom. She has a mom that loves her very much and tries to care for her as best as she can. I don't know why she decided to call me mama for the first time right then but it startled all of us a bit. I brushed it off thinking maybe she just didn't know what else to say (she has a hard time remembering my name) and didn't want to just call me Mzungu in front of everyone at the pool. The day went on and I took her home. I saw her in church the next day but she slept through the whole thing. She cried when I left her at the end of church, which is something she hasn't done in a long time. We both left and I didn't see her again until this Sunday.
Yesterday at church I held her as usual and she slept through most of church, as usual. When she woke up she started acting a little strange. She wouldn't let me put her down, she had to be touching me at all times, and she would be awake for a few minutes and then fall asleep for a few minutes. When the food was served we had to sneak through the line before everyone else and go into the church where the mzungu food was being served because she wouldn't let me walk away from her. I went and found the jaja that lives next door to her, and she told me that Chede was sick and they thought she had malaria. That explained the neediness so I let it slide and kept her with me while I had lunch in the church. Finally, it was time to go. I took her outside to the jaja and when I put her down the waterworks began. I'm not talking about just a few tears either. Chede was sobbing and saying, "mama, mama..." and reaching for me. Everyone around was laughing and teasing me saying she wanted me and I was her mama, but it was breaking my heart. If anything ever happened to her parents I would be her mama in a heart beat, but she has parents and I am not her mom. I know she knows I'm not her mom and I know that she would be devastated without her real mom but it carves a small hole in my heart every time I hear her say it.
I love my baby girl more than I thought would ever be possible. I am honored that she loves and trusts me enough to call me mama! I hope she knows that no matter where I am physically I am always loving her, missing her and thinking about her. I hope she knows that my heart lights up every time she calls me that, or shows that she loves and trusts me in the things she does. Mostly, I hope she knows that I am so proud to be her second mama. She is my first baby girl and I will love her forever! There are some gifts God gives us that we will never get over.

Since we are on the subject of having children, there is something you all need to know. I now have 50 of them. That's right, I now have 50 children. Ok, I don't actually have 50 children, but there are 50 kids in ICY and I will claim each and every one of them! Sometimes I will be on a boda in town and see a group of my kids. They yell and wave at me and the boda will say "Are those your kids?" and I just smile and reply, "Yes they are!" One day I was on my way home and had to ask the boda to stop so that I could break up a fight between some of my kids. Rocks in the hands of 10 year old boys that like to tease girls is a bad combo. Especially when the girls they chose to tease don't mess around! Today I was on a boda on my way to the homework club when I came across a group of my girls walking. I had the boda drop me there and walked with them all the way to mama's house where we do homework. Along the way they were fighting over the spots next to me and holding my hands while each giving their own version of what happened last week when I didn't show up at the homework club (because I was moving) and jaja (different jaja, the maid at mama's house) told them I had gone back to America. They each gave their own dramatic rendition of what Jaja said and how they reacted. I was in heaven. I felt so loved by my girls and I took joy in loving them right back. We did homework and played and took hundreds of pictures and loved on each other all afternoon. Just when I thought there couldn't be any more love in my heart, my boys showed up. Of course getting love from 10 year old boys is much different than getting love from 10 year old girls. They asked for "the game" and played on it for a long while. (Temple run. It's universal.) I was inside talking to a new mzungu friend that is staying at mama's house when my son came in. Teko Brian is sweet and shy. He hardly ever initiates conversation with me so you can imagine my surprise when he lets himself inside Julie's room and announces in a loud voice, "I'm sick." He walked straight to me and sat down and rested up against me. He was burning up and coughing through his words but he was telling me what was wrong and he was letting me mother him and love on him. This is a big deal. A really big deal. I gave him some fever reducer and told him that I would be at school in the morning to take him to the doctor. (This fever and cough have been going on too long. I am going to take him myself this time and probably annoy the heck out of the doctor but at least I will hear straight from his mouth what is going on.) I told him I loved him and I was sorry that he was sick, and that I was going to make sure he got better because that is what mamas do! He sat there for a while and just rested against me and let me hold him for a few minutes. He didn't even care that his friends Ausman and Peter were watching him. Thankfully they didn't tease him, and he didn't move. There are some gifts God gives us that we will never get over! Thank you Jesus for that priceless gift! How I pray he knows I love him and feels as loved from me as I did from him today. How I pray even more that he knows that his Heavenly father's love far outweighs any love I could ever give him.

I could sit here all night writing to you about the different gifts that the Lord has given me since I have been here that I will never get over. There comes a point, or many points, in your life where you realize that God's good gifts are not dependent on your good works, God's love isn't shaken by your sin, and God's faithfulness remains the same even when we are completely faithless. The lord has to continuously remind me of these truths. I'm not sure I will every fully understand them or learn them, but I know that he isn't ever going to stop teaching me. It is a humbling experience to feel the complete weight of your inadequacy and literally watch the complete strength and sufficiency of the Lord and his grace in that. I'm not sure I have ever experienced this more than I have in the past few weeks here. Honestly, there are some gifts God gives us that we will never get over. Praise Him!

Gomas

Last week was full of new experiences. The Gomas was my favorite. I asked all the moms to come wearing Gomas on Wednesday so that we could take pictures and have a fun day. Gomas is the traditional dress around here. There is something regal about a Gomas. It is beautiful! I'm sure you can imagine how happy I was to find that one of the Jajas had brought a Gomas for me!!! 

They helped me put it on and made me look very smart!!! Everyone yelled and clapped and danced for me in my Gomas. It was such a sweet experience. Then we took pictures all afternoon. Oh my. There is just no way to describe how much fun we had! The moms LOVED having their pictures taken. They loved seeing each other having their pictures taken. They loved everything about it! I loved it more. I could have jumped right out of my skin from all of the excitement! I got to take a few of the moms to Mt. Elgon hotel and we took some more pictures and just enjoyed being together. Some friends had ordered too much pizza and they shared it with us so the moms got to try pizza for the first time! At one point in the day Medina grabbed my arm and Grace's arm (because she knows English) and started talking really fast. When she was done Grace translated, "She said this is her first time here, it is my first time too. She said she has never seen a swimming pool, I have not either. She is very happy you brought us here. We all are very happy you brought us here! Thank you!"

I could have died. It was so sweet and they were so happy. The day was perfect. :-) 

New experiences

As many of you know, we had a minor earthquake last night! It wasn't even strong enough to knock anything over so it was kind of fun! We were having evening prayers and the couch started shaking. At first I thought the kid sitting next to me was shaking the couch, then I realized the whole house was shaking. Mama Aidah stopped singing, said "earthquake!" and started singing again as if it were completely normal! That was definitely a new experience. 

Yesterday I was asked if I wanted to help kill the chicken. I said no. I sort of regret saying no, but sort of don't. (<--That one was free.)

Today it rained. I know I'm from Texas but rain isn't THAT foreign to me. What was foreign was the fact that you could see and hear the rain coming toward you. People were terrified and running away from it. It was hilarious! I wish I had a video. It was literally a wall of rain that was white and LOUD. At first I thought the people were overreacting a bit, but then it got closer and I joined the crowd running for cover. It was insane. I literally had JUST made it home when it reached me. It poured so hard you couldn't see anything but rain and the lake it was forming in the courtyard. It was crazy. 

Well, those are my new experiences lately. Hope you are as entertained as I was! 

He held my hand...

He held my hand and everyone cried. It was the right thing to do for him, but we had to leave 4 other children alone in a home with no parents, not even an adult. The oldest is 13 and the youngest is 7. As we drove away we all were hating ourselves for just walking away, but we didn't have another option. 

His father died before we met him and his mother died last month. When he went home for the burial he never came back. He didn't want to leave his siblings alone and I don't blame him. He also doesn't have a very good living environment here and was afraid of coming back. After talking with relatives and family friends we all decided that bringing him back was best, but it wasn't easy. We weren't aware of how many children were there living alone. Or that they were honestly living completely alone. Sometimes a friend of their mother comes to check on them, but she has her own family and can't be there all the time. 

So yesterday we drove away from 4 children under the age of 13 living completely alone to bring their brother to a place that offers education and a future but for the moment, an unstable living environment. He held my hand and we cried. He tried not to cry in front of us, but he was hurting. Eventually I got him to talk to me a little. We stopped and got cokes and snacks and I let him listen to my music with me. But when we reached his village here, he tensed up and held my hand as tight as he could. I knew he didn't want to go back. I knew I would do everything I could to move him somewhere safe and comfortable, but he had to go. Every turn we made he gripped my hand a little tighter until finally the van stopped. He looked at me in hesitation and then got out and said goodbye. I don't know what will happen to those sweet children but I do know that God is good and that he will make a way. Pray with me for these kids please. They need a home. 

Two Homes And One Eternity

It turns out that my heart really is in two places. So now I have two homes here on earth, unfortunately I can only be in one at a time. One home is in Texas with my American friends and family, and one is here in Mbale, Uganda with my Ugandan friends and family. I don't know if you have ever experienced this feeling, but having two homes so far from each other is wonderful and miserable all at the same time. Sometimes I have to stop and praise The Lord for the life He is allowing me to live, and other times I cry out asking "why me?!" I don't understand why The Lord has entrusted me with this burden-blessing but He has. I don't feel worthy of the blessing or strong enough to carry the burden. The only thing I do know is that no matter where my home is here on earth there is one eternity. In eternity I won't be torn between two homes like I am now. In eternity I will be with my savior and all of this will be so worth it! 

Please pray with me for peace about what home is, but I'm also asking you to pray with me for the people that I encounter that don't have the assurance of a home in eternity with Jesus. I would be completely lost and hopeless without Him. I can't imagine living this life without the hope of the next one with The God that loves me enough to take on my sin and die on a cross for me. I have made some new friends here that don't yet know our Father's love, and my heart is breaking for them. Pray with me that my new friends that don't know The Lord would come to know him, trust him, and love him.

Thank you!