I read something online today and it got me thinking about the term "happily ever after."
She met the perfect man and lived happily ever after...
He got the perfect job/promotion and lived happily ever after...
They finally got pregnant and lived happily ever after...
The adoption was finalized and they lived happily ever after...
They bought a huge home, nice car, sweet boat, (fill in the blank) and lived happily ever after...
You get the idea. And most likely, you relate to one of those statements. But if you're human, which I'm hoping you are, you're probably wondering what happened to happily ever after.
I've fallen for it. I tend to fall into the category of waiting for my happily ever after. IF I could just (fill in the blank) I would live happily ever after. But there are a couple happily ever afters I seem to have misplaced.
I would like to tell you a little bit about one of my misplaced happily ever afters...
I first went to Uganda in 2011. Honestly, I had zero expectations of ever wanting to go back, let alone live there before I went the first time. It was just going to be a neat experience and a check off of a bucket list. Then God moved. Big time. Long story short, a year and a half later I found myself at a board meeting asking permission to work for ichooseyou in Uganda for at least 6 months. They agreed! By the grace of God I was going. THIS was going to be my happily ever after. Ha...
This is what happily ever after really looks like:
Cold feet. About a month or so before I was supposed to leave for Uganda I started getting cold feet. I would worry about being homesick, not making any friends, not knowing what to do, how to get around town, how to communicate, etc. I was one big worry. It wasn't my proudest moment.
Homesickness and literall sickness. For the first month or so in Uganda I was unbelievably homesick. Looking back, I wasn't willing to loosen my grip on my fears enough to let God take them away. So instead I was just miserable and feeling like I had made a huge mistake. Thank God for his sweet mercy and grace in the form of Malaria when my homesickness was at its worst! I know that sounds crazy. It sort of is. Don't get me wrong, malaria is awful, but I did it! I survived my first battle with malaria. And in the midst of it all, God have me the sweet gift of friendship. I realized through my physical illness that I had a lot of people around me that were trying to be my friends. A couple people in particular helped to turn things around for me. One of my Ugandan friends was constantly encouraging me to go to The Lord when I felt bad. A couple sweet Mzungu girls were reaching out to me and inviting me in. (One of them literally invited me into her home. Now she can't get rid of me! Haha) I don't know what I would have done without those friends!
Inadequacy. I hope I'm not the only one that struggles with this, but there it is. I said it. I fall short in every area of life you could imagine.
Language learning. Why is it so hard?!?! Where do I even start?!! Do I have to?
Starting a business. Haha. Enough said?
Learning to communicate in a new culture without offending people every other second. Who knew it would be so easy to offend people?!
Maintaining relationships back home. I'm awful at this. It is a miracle that my friends and family still talk to me and love me. Thank you.
I think you get the picture again. I fall short. Every time.
Then there are the day to day things...
Falling off the boda boda on my first attempt at sitting side saddle. (Go ahead, laugh. I do too now.)
Getting peed on in church.
Getting peed on in namatala.
Eating rice and one small piece of meat every night for 6 weeks.
Cleaning wounds every day. So. Many. Wounds.
Learning appropriate boda prices and realizing I've been cheated in the process.
Malnutrition everywhere and not enough money to help everyone.
Finding poop on your bedroom floor because your baby girl is too thin to keep a diaper up.
Having to clean up poop at the local hotel because your baby girl had a bit of a poop explosion by the pool.
Power outtages. Every day.
One very long power outtage and 4 kerosene lamps that don't work.
Rain, rain, and more rain.
Having to leave your babies.
Again, you get the idea.
Happily ever after is a very wonderful thought, but highly unrealistic.
Crazily ever after with a whole lot of fun and happy and unfortunately a little bit of sad in between might be a little more realistic. I think we tell the happily ever after stories as a way of maintaining hope. The problem is that it is false hope.
What we should really be doing is telling stories to maintain true hope. Hope in Jesus. Hope for eternity!
What if we were honest about it? Sure, I'm going to live happily ever after. When I reach heavens gates! Until then, I will live my own special version of ever after that is quite a bit more messy than the fairy tales. It will be worth it. And I will be grateful for what I'm given and hold onto the hope of heaven when things get hard.
My point?
Encourage eternal hope in someone today. Fill you children's minds with hope that lasts instead of unrealistic expectations of happily ever after. Live out your own hope for eternity when your happily ever after seems to be misplaced.
Thanks for reading. If you made not all the way to here you are a champ. Rant over.
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