Amaza died of chicken pox. It seems crazy to me. I remember when I had chicken pox. Of course it was uncomfortable but the little red spots were silly and after a few days it was over. I won't pretend that I know why it wasn't that way for Amaza, I'm obviously not a doctor. Somehow Amaza's little body just couldn't handle the chicken pox. I've been told that the rest of the 10 kids have chicken pox as well.
I really don't know what else to say. Honestly my brain can't wrap around this. There is so much that I don't know. I don't know how sick the other kids are. I don't know who holds and comforts those sweet babies that just lost a brother and are hurting physically as well. I don't know who holds and comforts the mother that just lost her son and has 9 other sick children to care for and worry about. I don't know what I would do or feel if I were in her shoes.
But I do know one thing. One thing that will never change.
God is holding every single one of those kids. God is holding that mom. God is holding all of us, and He loves us. We are exactly where we need to be in the arms of the savior.
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38, 39 ESV)
That is what I know. That is what I am holding onto. That is a promise!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
In the arms of Jesus
I don't want to write this blog but I need to.
Amaza, the little boy that we put in the hospital because he was malnourished, is in the arms of Jesus today. I don't know much except that he was in the hospital when he died. I'm trying to find out more information but it may take a while. Please pray for this family. Please pray for our team. Please pray for our hearts. Amaza is in better hands now. He is free and healthy and whole in heaven today and he doesn't need our prayers or our tears. However, he left behind a family that loves and misses him. They do need our prayers. They need to be comforted by the only one who has the power to heal this heartache.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this still. When we left the report was that he was doing better. Now he has left us to be with Jesus. Thank you for the prayers and support. Please keep praying.
Amaza, the little boy that we put in the hospital because he was malnourished, is in the arms of Jesus today. I don't know much except that he was in the hospital when he died. I'm trying to find out more information but it may take a while. Please pray for this family. Please pray for our team. Please pray for our hearts. Amaza is in better hands now. He is free and healthy and whole in heaven today and he doesn't need our prayers or our tears. However, he left behind a family that loves and misses him. They do need our prayers. They need to be comforted by the only one who has the power to heal this heartache.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around this still. When we left the report was that he was doing better. Now he has left us to be with Jesus. Thank you for the prayers and support. Please keep praying.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Saying Goodbye
I can't believe the last thing I wrote about was Tom. That seems like it was so long ago. Tom is doing well now. When we left he was back at home and beginning to move around. We even got a smile out of him a couple times, and we both got to hug/hold him before we left. I had really hoped to see a fully recovered Tom before we left but I know that he is in God's hands and there is no better place for him to be. (I keep saying that. It's the truth and it's something I need to be reminded of on a daily basis.)
The last few days were filled with tying up loose ends, (as much as we could) and enjoying the time we had left in Uganda. We checked on old wounds and finished cleaning some of the newer ones. We took every opportunity available to love on the kids in ichooseyou and the kids in Namatala. We tried to better understand where some of the people are coming from and how they ended up in the situation they are in. I finally can say that if you put me somewhere in town and told me to find my way back to mama's house I could do it. It may take me a while, but I could do it.
Saying goodbye was so much harder than I ever could have imagined. To be honest, in some cases I just didn't do it. I couldn't. On our last Sunday it was extremely hard for me to focus in church. Lord forgive me but I couldn't help but look around the whole time and try to take it all in one last time before we left. Church was extra long that last Sunday. We sang for well over an hour. Both times. Ha ha. While we were singing I was soaking it in. Trying to remember how it sounds and what it felt like so that I would have that memory to go back to on days like today when I just want a little piece of Uganda again. During Sunday school I held Chede and just watched the kids. I loved seeing the joy on their faces and the love they have for the Lord. I couldn't help but notice how the ichooseyou kids have this extra sparkle in their eyes that is unmistakeably hope. As I looked around and saw all of the children, ichooseyou or not, I saw the need of the people and I saw Jesus. I hope that every single person in this world gets the opportunity to look into the face of a child in need and see the love of our savior. I have had the blessing of seeing that love in hundreds of little precious Ugandan faces and it is priceless. After church, It was time to say goodbye. There was one goodbye in particular that I had been dreading and I knew I had to do it. Elizabeth came and found me and we went to find Teko together to explain that I was leaving. He didn't say anything when she told him, he just looked at me with those big beautiful eyes and held onto me very tightly. I cried and held him and told him that I loved him and I was coming back and to do well in school and trust the Lord and do the right thing always. I knew he didn't understand me but I couldn't help it. I tried to look at him long enough to get the picture of his face clearly engraved in my mind. I wanted to squeeze him tight and not let go but I felt like his tiny little frame would break in my arms if I hugged him too hard. I knew that holding on would only make letting go harder so I said I love you one last time and then said goodbye. Just before we left I got to hold our sweet little miracle baby, Loru, and kiss his face off. I know he was only letting me hold him because I have blond hair like his Mzungu Kady does but I liked it anyways. After I put him down and said goodbye to his family we went back to mama's house. We had lunch and rested a while then decided it was now or never. It was time to go into Namatala and say our goodbye's there. I don't even know what to say about this part except that it was hard. Very hard. There is something about walking through Namatala for the last time and having a chorus of children chanting "mzungu" behind you for the last time. There is something about smelling home made alcohol and immediately praying against the alcoholism that infects the lives of the people of Namatala for the last time. It was hard and overwhelming. Not to mention having to say goodbye to the people and the children that we grew to love while we were there. Saying goodbye to Chede and her family was awful. At first it seemed like she didn't understand, and honestly it would have been easier that way. I had brought a few pictures of us together from last year so that I could find her easily. I already have these pictures at home and didn't need the ones with me so I decided to give them to her so that she would remember me. When I handed them to her she lit up! She loved them and she couldn't stop looking at them. Then after a while something happened, something clicked and she looked back at me and I knew she understood that I was leaving. She started crying and I started crying and for a moment I didn't think I was going to be able to make myself leave. We took pictures of me with her family and I held her and kissed her and we said "I love you" to each other over and over. She kissed my cheek and I thought I was going to die. Finally I looked at Paul, Kristyn, and Glenn and told them that if we didn't leave right then I wasn't ever going to leave. I put a crying Chede down and walked very quickly back to the car crying. Kristyn still needed to say goodbye to Masse and we both wanted to see tom and the rest of the family before we left so we headed that direction. I honestly don't know how to describe what happened there. Irene, the sibling that is in ichooseyou, wouldn't come say goodbye. She couldn't stop crying and I guess she didn't want to be crying when she said goodbye. Kristyn and I both tried to get her to look at us and give us a hug but it didn't really work. (we got half hugs) Then Kristyn took pictures with the family, said goodbye to Masse and we left. We both cried all the way home. About 45 minutes after we got home we got a call from Paul. Irene had walked all the way to Mama's house and he had found her outside the gate. He couldn't get her to go home and it was dark so he asked us to help. We went out there and gave her real hugs and then she agreed to go home. Paul walked her most of the way home so that she would be safe. Kristyn and I love Irene and did spend a lot of time with her because of Tom getting sick and the ichooseyou homework club, but her reaction to us leaving startled me a little. I wasn't expecting it at all. I don't think it really had so much to do with the fact that we personally were leaving as it did with the fact that she knows her life would be much different right now if it weren't for ichooseyou. Her family is in a big mess that is going to take a lot of work and determination from her mom to fix, but she has been blessed with the opportunity to make things different for herself and you can see it in her eyes that she knows. Our homework club allowed us to get to know a lot of our kids a lot better and make bonds with them by teaching them and believing in them enough to require their absolute best. Like Irene, a lot of the kids that need help don't have someone at home helping them with homework or even making sure that it gets done. It spoke volumes of love to them for us to check their homework and make them re-do the wrong answers. (even if they didn't necessarily enjoy spending the extra time to do it right.) I'm so glad we got to have that experience and love our kids in that way. I hope that in the future I get the opportunity to do it again.
I didn't really get to say goodbye to anyone else. I am sort of glad it worked out that way. I don't think I could have handled many more goodbyes. Although we did get to tie up a lot of loose ends we left a lot of things unfinished. I wish we could have had more than two weeks with our homework club. Some of the kids that are struggling are so close to getting it. a couple more weeks with them would have made a world of difference. A couple different families that are in a big mess were just beginning to see that making a few small changes would have a big impact on their families well being. It would have been nice to be able to make sure that they understood and watch them actually make the changes. But like I have been saying and need to continue to say, They are in God's hands and there is no better place for them to be. So that was our last few days in Uganda. I can't believe it's over already. It seems like just yesterday I was writing that the trip was never going to be here and I hoped the time would go by faster. I guess it's time to start saying that about next year now... ;-)
The last few days were filled with tying up loose ends, (as much as we could) and enjoying the time we had left in Uganda. We checked on old wounds and finished cleaning some of the newer ones. We took every opportunity available to love on the kids in ichooseyou and the kids in Namatala. We tried to better understand where some of the people are coming from and how they ended up in the situation they are in. I finally can say that if you put me somewhere in town and told me to find my way back to mama's house I could do it. It may take me a while, but I could do it.
Saying goodbye was so much harder than I ever could have imagined. To be honest, in some cases I just didn't do it. I couldn't. On our last Sunday it was extremely hard for me to focus in church. Lord forgive me but I couldn't help but look around the whole time and try to take it all in one last time before we left. Church was extra long that last Sunday. We sang for well over an hour. Both times. Ha ha. While we were singing I was soaking it in. Trying to remember how it sounds and what it felt like so that I would have that memory to go back to on days like today when I just want a little piece of Uganda again. During Sunday school I held Chede and just watched the kids. I loved seeing the joy on their faces and the love they have for the Lord. I couldn't help but notice how the ichooseyou kids have this extra sparkle in their eyes that is unmistakeably hope. As I looked around and saw all of the children, ichooseyou or not, I saw the need of the people and I saw Jesus. I hope that every single person in this world gets the opportunity to look into the face of a child in need and see the love of our savior. I have had the blessing of seeing that love in hundreds of little precious Ugandan faces and it is priceless. After church, It was time to say goodbye. There was one goodbye in particular that I had been dreading and I knew I had to do it. Elizabeth came and found me and we went to find Teko together to explain that I was leaving. He didn't say anything when she told him, he just looked at me with those big beautiful eyes and held onto me very tightly. I cried and held him and told him that I loved him and I was coming back and to do well in school and trust the Lord and do the right thing always. I knew he didn't understand me but I couldn't help it. I tried to look at him long enough to get the picture of his face clearly engraved in my mind. I wanted to squeeze him tight and not let go but I felt like his tiny little frame would break in my arms if I hugged him too hard. I knew that holding on would only make letting go harder so I said I love you one last time and then said goodbye. Just before we left I got to hold our sweet little miracle baby, Loru, and kiss his face off. I know he was only letting me hold him because I have blond hair like his Mzungu Kady does but I liked it anyways. After I put him down and said goodbye to his family we went back to mama's house. We had lunch and rested a while then decided it was now or never. It was time to go into Namatala and say our goodbye's there. I don't even know what to say about this part except that it was hard. Very hard. There is something about walking through Namatala for the last time and having a chorus of children chanting "mzungu" behind you for the last time. There is something about smelling home made alcohol and immediately praying against the alcoholism that infects the lives of the people of Namatala for the last time. It was hard and overwhelming. Not to mention having to say goodbye to the people and the children that we grew to love while we were there. Saying goodbye to Chede and her family was awful. At first it seemed like she didn't understand, and honestly it would have been easier that way. I had brought a few pictures of us together from last year so that I could find her easily. I already have these pictures at home and didn't need the ones with me so I decided to give them to her so that she would remember me. When I handed them to her she lit up! She loved them and she couldn't stop looking at them. Then after a while something happened, something clicked and she looked back at me and I knew she understood that I was leaving. She started crying and I started crying and for a moment I didn't think I was going to be able to make myself leave. We took pictures of me with her family and I held her and kissed her and we said "I love you" to each other over and over. She kissed my cheek and I thought I was going to die. Finally I looked at Paul, Kristyn, and Glenn and told them that if we didn't leave right then I wasn't ever going to leave. I put a crying Chede down and walked very quickly back to the car crying. Kristyn still needed to say goodbye to Masse and we both wanted to see tom and the rest of the family before we left so we headed that direction. I honestly don't know how to describe what happened there. Irene, the sibling that is in ichooseyou, wouldn't come say goodbye. She couldn't stop crying and I guess she didn't want to be crying when she said goodbye. Kristyn and I both tried to get her to look at us and give us a hug but it didn't really work. (we got half hugs) Then Kristyn took pictures with the family, said goodbye to Masse and we left. We both cried all the way home. About 45 minutes after we got home we got a call from Paul. Irene had walked all the way to Mama's house and he had found her outside the gate. He couldn't get her to go home and it was dark so he asked us to help. We went out there and gave her real hugs and then she agreed to go home. Paul walked her most of the way home so that she would be safe. Kristyn and I love Irene and did spend a lot of time with her because of Tom getting sick and the ichooseyou homework club, but her reaction to us leaving startled me a little. I wasn't expecting it at all. I don't think it really had so much to do with the fact that we personally were leaving as it did with the fact that she knows her life would be much different right now if it weren't for ichooseyou. Her family is in a big mess that is going to take a lot of work and determination from her mom to fix, but she has been blessed with the opportunity to make things different for herself and you can see it in her eyes that she knows. Our homework club allowed us to get to know a lot of our kids a lot better and make bonds with them by teaching them and believing in them enough to require their absolute best. Like Irene, a lot of the kids that need help don't have someone at home helping them with homework or even making sure that it gets done. It spoke volumes of love to them for us to check their homework and make them re-do the wrong answers. (even if they didn't necessarily enjoy spending the extra time to do it right.) I'm so glad we got to have that experience and love our kids in that way. I hope that in the future I get the opportunity to do it again.
I didn't really get to say goodbye to anyone else. I am sort of glad it worked out that way. I don't think I could have handled many more goodbyes. Although we did get to tie up a lot of loose ends we left a lot of things unfinished. I wish we could have had more than two weeks with our homework club. Some of the kids that are struggling are so close to getting it. a couple more weeks with them would have made a world of difference. A couple different families that are in a big mess were just beginning to see that making a few small changes would have a big impact on their families well being. It would have been nice to be able to make sure that they understood and watch them actually make the changes. But like I have been saying and need to continue to say, They are in God's hands and there is no better place for them to be. So that was our last few days in Uganda. I can't believe it's over already. It seems like just yesterday I was writing that the trip was never going to be here and I hoped the time would go by faster. I guess it's time to start saying that about next year now... ;-)
Home
I'm back in the USA now. Most people know I've actually been home since last Wednesday. I just haven't had the energy to write another post. I went into this trip knowing that coming home would be hard. I knew that I wouldn't want to leave. I knew that my heart would be broken all over again for these people and for what God is doing in Uganda. I knew that the piece of my heart that I left in Uganda last year still wasn't coming home with me. What I didn't anticipate was that I would leave yet another piece of my heart there this time. I didn't realize that being there so long would be such an affirmation of my heart for this place. I didn't know that going a second time would open my eyes to things that I didn't see the first time and open my heart to it as well. On the plane home I kept asking myself, and God, why this is so hard. How can my heart be completely broken and longing to stay in Uganda, while missing my family and friends at home at the same time? How, after a total of only 2 months in Uganda, can it feel like home to me? And if Uganda feels like home then why does home feel like home too? That thought was the one that broke me. Uganda feels like home, but the States feel like home too. I don't know what is worse, feeling like I'm living in two different worlds at the same time, or not knowing which world is the one I'm supposed to be in right now. I know that God has called me to Uganda in some way but I also know that right now I'm home in the states. Last year it was easier, I had to finish school and I had Rise. This year it's so much harder. I'm done with school, I don't have a job, and Rise will be over for me on August 7th. That leaves me with the question of what is next. Society says that I am supposed to begin a career of some sort. I am supposed to be searching for a job that will lead to something and provide benefits and a future for me. Everything about what I just described screams complacency to me and is absolutely 1,000% repulsive.
When I was younger I had everything planned out. I would go to college and get my degree, then open a dance studio and teach dance for the rest of my life. Somewhere between college and my mid 20's I would fall in love and get married. We would have babies, live in the suburbs, take nice vacations, and be like that for the rest of our lives. I never dreamed of living more than an hour away from my mom. I certainly never wanted to live in a different state, much less a different continent. In church when we would talk about missionaries my immediate thought was always "I love God and I want others to love God, but who would ever want to do that? Missionaries are weird and boring and don't know how to dress." Life was supposed to be a certain way and I didn't plan on ever really rocking the boat.
Obviously something changed, and I can promise you it wasn't me. God began working on my heart my first year of college. He began to make me think about other places and other people by putting adoption and the clean water issue in front of me every time I turned around. The thought of adoption came easier to me than the thought of dropping everything for a short term mission trip, much less being a "missionary." Adoption was sweet and appealing and on my terms and in my time table. I let myself become open to the thought of adoption and God calling me to it, and without my consent it became engraved in my heart. Scripture is very clear on the heart of our father towards orphans and widows and it didn't take much convincing for my heart to agree with the fathers on that issue. What I hadn't thought much about before was the fact that adoption wasn't the only way to care for widows and orphans and those in need. When my heart became one with the Fathers on the issue of adoption I frequently wondered why God would put it on my heart so strongly when I didn't have a husband yet and couldn't do anything about it. I would read something about orphans, or hear a sermon on "the least of these", or read a blog about an international adoption and immediately think "God why are you doing this to me? You know my heart is for adoption and you know that I don't have a husband yet and this is killing me!" I wouldn't really allow the thought that maybe God was trying to get my attention for another reason. Without going into too much detail, God got my attention. Definitely isn't how I would have done it but I have to say it worked. It's funny how when your life turns upside down and you don't have a choice but to completely rely on the spirit and listen and wait for Gods voice, you hear Him. I would love to say that it was as clear as a bell, that I heard God's voice without a doubt in the world say "Go to Uganda with Ichooseyou this summer" but that isn't exactly how it happened. One day in the midst of my world crashing down around me I felt like God wanted more from me than the usual work at the studio during the summer. I had friends that were going on international mission trips and it had never really made me want to do the same, but something told me I needed to. When Becky asked me if I was interested in going with Ichooseyou to Uganda that summer the word "yes" came out of my mouth involuntarily. The next thing I knew I had already asked off of work for the two weeks and talked to my parents about it. I gave Becky a final yes and had somehow committed to a two week trip to Uganda. I prayed a lot in the days to come. I began to feel like maybe I had rushed into this and not prayed or thought through it enough. I began to pray that if this was what God wanted from me the money would be there and if it wasn't it wouldn't. Long story short the money was there. It only really took a couple weeks from the time I sent the support letters for all of the money to be there. I was going. Uganda was where God wanted me for those two weeks. (The money story really is amazing. If you look back far enough on here it's in there somewhere.) If I had known then that those two weeks would change my life completely and change it forever I may not have gone. I didn't want change. Not like this. I didn't want to have my heart in two different places. I didn't want to be sitting here saying that I have two homes and I can't be in both at the same time. I had a plan and if I had known that the first trip was going to shatter that plan I probably wouldn't have done it. I'm so glad I did. Yes, it hurts to have my heart in two places at once and not know what the future holds. Maybe it is crazy that I would want to live in Uganda, even for just a short amount of time. But what is worse than all of that is living a comfortable, complacent life, just because that is what I am "supposed" to do. I can't imagine anything worse than ignoring God's call. Sure I had hoped Gods call would involve living in the states, but for now it seems He has a different plan.
So now I am in the middle. I know God is calling and I am trying to figure out what He wants and when He wants it. I'm trying not to mistake my emotions for God's will in my life. I'm facing opposition and trials from places I never thought I would, and trying to understand if it is the enemy or God putting on the brakes. One thing is for sure, that God has a plan for my life and I want to be in the middle of His will, whatever that looks like. So I will deal with the emotions from the fact that I have two homes that are very far apart. I will pray, and cry, and trust that He knows far better than I. When I hear his voice, no matter what it says, I will follow.
I have had a lot of people ask what they can do and how they can pray. Go to www.ichooseyou.net and take a look around. Consider sponsoring a child (or two, or five, or ten!) or giving a one time donation. We have 47 wonderful children right now but Namatala is a very big place with a very big need. We need more sponsors to be able to keep bringing hope to these families. As always, please pray for God's will to be made very clear to me. Also pray that no matter what it is, my heart and the hearts of my loved ones would be willing and obedient.
Thank you so much for praying with me and taking this crazy journey with me. I promise I will try to update about the last few days of my trip soon. Stay Tuned!
When I was younger I had everything planned out. I would go to college and get my degree, then open a dance studio and teach dance for the rest of my life. Somewhere between college and my mid 20's I would fall in love and get married. We would have babies, live in the suburbs, take nice vacations, and be like that for the rest of our lives. I never dreamed of living more than an hour away from my mom. I certainly never wanted to live in a different state, much less a different continent. In church when we would talk about missionaries my immediate thought was always "I love God and I want others to love God, but who would ever want to do that? Missionaries are weird and boring and don't know how to dress." Life was supposed to be a certain way and I didn't plan on ever really rocking the boat.
Obviously something changed, and I can promise you it wasn't me. God began working on my heart my first year of college. He began to make me think about other places and other people by putting adoption and the clean water issue in front of me every time I turned around. The thought of adoption came easier to me than the thought of dropping everything for a short term mission trip, much less being a "missionary." Adoption was sweet and appealing and on my terms and in my time table. I let myself become open to the thought of adoption and God calling me to it, and without my consent it became engraved in my heart. Scripture is very clear on the heart of our father towards orphans and widows and it didn't take much convincing for my heart to agree with the fathers on that issue. What I hadn't thought much about before was the fact that adoption wasn't the only way to care for widows and orphans and those in need. When my heart became one with the Fathers on the issue of adoption I frequently wondered why God would put it on my heart so strongly when I didn't have a husband yet and couldn't do anything about it. I would read something about orphans, or hear a sermon on "the least of these", or read a blog about an international adoption and immediately think "God why are you doing this to me? You know my heart is for adoption and you know that I don't have a husband yet and this is killing me!" I wouldn't really allow the thought that maybe God was trying to get my attention for another reason. Without going into too much detail, God got my attention. Definitely isn't how I would have done it but I have to say it worked. It's funny how when your life turns upside down and you don't have a choice but to completely rely on the spirit and listen and wait for Gods voice, you hear Him. I would love to say that it was as clear as a bell, that I heard God's voice without a doubt in the world say "Go to Uganda with Ichooseyou this summer" but that isn't exactly how it happened. One day in the midst of my world crashing down around me I felt like God wanted more from me than the usual work at the studio during the summer. I had friends that were going on international mission trips and it had never really made me want to do the same, but something told me I needed to. When Becky asked me if I was interested in going with Ichooseyou to Uganda that summer the word "yes" came out of my mouth involuntarily. The next thing I knew I had already asked off of work for the two weeks and talked to my parents about it. I gave Becky a final yes and had somehow committed to a two week trip to Uganda. I prayed a lot in the days to come. I began to feel like maybe I had rushed into this and not prayed or thought through it enough. I began to pray that if this was what God wanted from me the money would be there and if it wasn't it wouldn't. Long story short the money was there. It only really took a couple weeks from the time I sent the support letters for all of the money to be there. I was going. Uganda was where God wanted me for those two weeks. (The money story really is amazing. If you look back far enough on here it's in there somewhere.) If I had known then that those two weeks would change my life completely and change it forever I may not have gone. I didn't want change. Not like this. I didn't want to have my heart in two different places. I didn't want to be sitting here saying that I have two homes and I can't be in both at the same time. I had a plan and if I had known that the first trip was going to shatter that plan I probably wouldn't have done it. I'm so glad I did. Yes, it hurts to have my heart in two places at once and not know what the future holds. Maybe it is crazy that I would want to live in Uganda, even for just a short amount of time. But what is worse than all of that is living a comfortable, complacent life, just because that is what I am "supposed" to do. I can't imagine anything worse than ignoring God's call. Sure I had hoped Gods call would involve living in the states, but for now it seems He has a different plan.
So now I am in the middle. I know God is calling and I am trying to figure out what He wants and when He wants it. I'm trying not to mistake my emotions for God's will in my life. I'm facing opposition and trials from places I never thought I would, and trying to understand if it is the enemy or God putting on the brakes. One thing is for sure, that God has a plan for my life and I want to be in the middle of His will, whatever that looks like. So I will deal with the emotions from the fact that I have two homes that are very far apart. I will pray, and cry, and trust that He knows far better than I. When I hear his voice, no matter what it says, I will follow.
I have had a lot of people ask what they can do and how they can pray. Go to www.ichooseyou.net and take a look around. Consider sponsoring a child (or two, or five, or ten!) or giving a one time donation. We have 47 wonderful children right now but Namatala is a very big place with a very big need. We need more sponsors to be able to keep bringing hope to these families. As always, please pray for God's will to be made very clear to me. Also pray that no matter what it is, my heart and the hearts of my loved ones would be willing and obedient.
Thank you so much for praying with me and taking this crazy journey with me. I promise I will try to update about the last few days of my trip soon. Stay Tuned!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
It's been a while...
It's been a while since I last posted. I know normally I give a rundown of the events that have taken place but it's been so long it would take me forever to cover all of them. So I guess I'll just do my best since very thing is somewhat blurred together.
Somehow when we were still with the whole team and had a van and a driver to help us transport our medical box everyone with a wound was hiding. That's definitely not the case anymore. Jennifer, one of the sewing club ladies, had asked us to help her neighbors daughter one day and that began a never ending small wounds clinic. I think we have cleaned and dressed at least one wound a day almost every day since the team left. Of course we have had the usual little scrapes and booboos that are basically already healed but we have had some pretty intense wounds as well. Luckily we have more gloves, alcohol wipes, and bandaids than we will ever use. Among the intense wounds was the little girl that burned her foot, a boy with a small but deep and infected wound on his knee, and my favorite-the young man that got in a fight. This one is my favorite because the very first time he walked up he was walking very slowly and had a wrap/skirt on and all of us were thinking the same thing: circumcision. Hahaha when the young men get circumcised here they wear a wrap/skirt looking thing, so when he walked up in one Kristyn and I were concerned to say the least. Luckily we had Paul and found out he had been in a fight and had two wounds on his knee, one on his arm, and one on his head. All of his wounds were small but deep for their size. Between all these different wounds and having to redress them every day we have been busy with bandaids!
Aside from cleaning and dressing wounds Kristin and I have spent a lot of time with the ichooseyou kids. We have a homework club established and our little group loves it! We have some very bright kids in the program :-). We were able to talk to Sarah about which kids could use some help and then talk to the teachers of those kids and find out what they struggle with. It's so neat to get to help them and teach them. These kids love to learn! Our after school homework club has different kids in it each day (aside from the ones Sarah mentioned) and it has been a neat way to get to know some of the kids that usually fly under the radar! Sometimes we are outside the gate when the kids arrive and when that happens we really get to see a lot of the kids. They are so sweet and so much fun!
Kristyn and I have also had the privilege of getting to know some kids from Namatala that we didn't know before. These kids are hilarious! They can turn any object into a toy. It's so cute! It's funny, no matter how many times we are there an they see us we still have a chorus of "Mzungu" trailing behind us when we walk through Namatala. Kristyn and I wonder what they would do if we started chanting "African" back to them. Haha. Haven't tried it.
Chede, Ana, and Maria are adorable as ever! I was able to give Chede some deworming medicine (it's amazing how cheap it is!) and give all of them some medicine that's basically a multi vitamin for kids that helps fight disease/infection. What they really need is for someone to bathe and feed them every day but there is only so much I can do when I'm going home so soon. Oh how I wish I could take them with me! Chede's dad taught her to chant America around me. He has asked me to take her home with me multiple times so I wonder if he has told her she is going home with me. I hope not. It breaks my heart that I can't help them more but I know they are in God's hands and that is the best place for them to be. I know some of you saw my status on Facebook about Chede's mom beating her and I guess I should talk about it. That whole day was just rough. Early that morning we were in Namatala and I saw Chede so I stopped to say hi and hug her. While I was with her I heard a mother beating her child. After a while I saw the little girl running and crying and then she fell and I heard the mom yell something at her and she just sat there on the ground and cried. It broke my heart. I know that sometimes kids misbehave and of course as a parent you must discipline your children but there is a difference between discipline and abuse. A big difference. Later in the day we were back in Namatala and I had Chede's medicine with me so we stopped by to give it to her. When we got there Chede was sitting on the ground screaming and crying. As we walked up I was asking her what was wrong (even though she doesn't understand me) and a kid came up to me and quietly told me that her mother had beaten her. I didn't want to believe it so I decided to get Paul to ask what was wrong. He told me the same thing. A few minutes later Chede's neighbor Kristyn came and told me the same story. They use the term "beat" lightly so I was hoping they meant that she spanked her but upon inspection I could see scrapes all over her arms and legs. Nothing too bad but definitely scrapes that hadn't been there before. She was crying/upset for a long time and I just held her. My sweet baby. I feel so helpless in Namatala sometimes. This was one of those times. It's such a big problem and I feel like my hands are tied. Just have to keep praying that the situation would change.
The big thing that Kristyn and I have been dealing with lately is a little boy named Tom. Tom is an ichooseyou sibling. This particular family has 10 kids and the dad is basically a no show. We think he may send some money home but mostly he uses it for his alcohol addiction and only comes home to make another baby. So the family has a lot of needs simply because they are in an awful situation. The mom is so young and married to a dead beat. She could probably get out of the situation and change things a little of she really wanted to but I think she is probably scared. Tom is somewhere between 3-5 and has been sick for the past 2-3 weeks. His sister. Masse, got sick first with malaria and we took her to the doctor while the team was still around. Then the very next day Tom had a fever so we all assumed he has malaria as well. There was enough medication for him too so we told them to give it to him. They didn't. Basically a grandmother (very old) and a 12 year old are taking care of the family now and I think they either forgot or just didn't have the energy to force it. (he hates it.) so Tom wasn't getting medication. A couple days ago we went to check on Tom and it was bad. In fact bad isn't a strong enough word to describe the situation. He would barely even open his eyes when we were there. We were told he isn't eating but he is vomiting and has diarrhea. He definitely had a fever that was entirely too high. Kristyn and I knew we had to do something but just didn't know what. It was clear to us that if we didn't do something he most likely wasn't going to make it. After talking, praying, and asking a friend for advice we decided to take him in for a malaria test and see what the doctor said. When we got there they took his temperature, which was 40 degrees C, and immediately gave him fever medicine. When the doctor saw him he went ahead and did the malaria test but told us that he was pretty sure the boy had pneumonia. He said that if it were malaria, with that temperature, the boy would be seizing. Sure enough the malaria test was negative. The doctor told us that the boy really needed to be admitted and stay over night. When we asked about other options the doctor looked terrified and said that the boy wasn't going to get better without an IV and that they really needed him to stay the night. The price is dirt cheap, less than $10, so we decided to follow the doctors orders. As of now Tom's fever is a lot better! He still isn't breathing well but the fever being down is a huge improvement. I can't even explain to you how incredibly sick Tom was. I have never seen a child look so sick before. He didn't even look like he was with us really. He looked far away and miserable. I'm so glad we helped him. I honestly believe that Tom wouldn't have made it without that doctor visit. This family is going to need a serious change in order to make life better for them but I believe that with help the mama can do it. Hopefully she will.
Lately we have seen so much and started to see what everyday life is like for these people. In some ways I envy the simple life they lead. Then there are things that break my heart as well. God has me here for a reason. Still praying for guidance and to see what that reason is but it is getting clearer each day. Keep praying with me please!
Somehow when we were still with the whole team and had a van and a driver to help us transport our medical box everyone with a wound was hiding. That's definitely not the case anymore. Jennifer, one of the sewing club ladies, had asked us to help her neighbors daughter one day and that began a never ending small wounds clinic. I think we have cleaned and dressed at least one wound a day almost every day since the team left. Of course we have had the usual little scrapes and booboos that are basically already healed but we have had some pretty intense wounds as well. Luckily we have more gloves, alcohol wipes, and bandaids than we will ever use. Among the intense wounds was the little girl that burned her foot, a boy with a small but deep and infected wound on his knee, and my favorite-the young man that got in a fight. This one is my favorite because the very first time he walked up he was walking very slowly and had a wrap/skirt on and all of us were thinking the same thing: circumcision. Hahaha when the young men get circumcised here they wear a wrap/skirt looking thing, so when he walked up in one Kristyn and I were concerned to say the least. Luckily we had Paul and found out he had been in a fight and had two wounds on his knee, one on his arm, and one on his head. All of his wounds were small but deep for their size. Between all these different wounds and having to redress them every day we have been busy with bandaids!
Aside from cleaning and dressing wounds Kristin and I have spent a lot of time with the ichooseyou kids. We have a homework club established and our little group loves it! We have some very bright kids in the program :-). We were able to talk to Sarah about which kids could use some help and then talk to the teachers of those kids and find out what they struggle with. It's so neat to get to help them and teach them. These kids love to learn! Our after school homework club has different kids in it each day (aside from the ones Sarah mentioned) and it has been a neat way to get to know some of the kids that usually fly under the radar! Sometimes we are outside the gate when the kids arrive and when that happens we really get to see a lot of the kids. They are so sweet and so much fun!
Kristyn and I have also had the privilege of getting to know some kids from Namatala that we didn't know before. These kids are hilarious! They can turn any object into a toy. It's so cute! It's funny, no matter how many times we are there an they see us we still have a chorus of "Mzungu" trailing behind us when we walk through Namatala. Kristyn and I wonder what they would do if we started chanting "African" back to them. Haha. Haven't tried it.
Chede, Ana, and Maria are adorable as ever! I was able to give Chede some deworming medicine (it's amazing how cheap it is!) and give all of them some medicine that's basically a multi vitamin for kids that helps fight disease/infection. What they really need is for someone to bathe and feed them every day but there is only so much I can do when I'm going home so soon. Oh how I wish I could take them with me! Chede's dad taught her to chant America around me. He has asked me to take her home with me multiple times so I wonder if he has told her she is going home with me. I hope not. It breaks my heart that I can't help them more but I know they are in God's hands and that is the best place for them to be. I know some of you saw my status on Facebook about Chede's mom beating her and I guess I should talk about it. That whole day was just rough. Early that morning we were in Namatala and I saw Chede so I stopped to say hi and hug her. While I was with her I heard a mother beating her child. After a while I saw the little girl running and crying and then she fell and I heard the mom yell something at her and she just sat there on the ground and cried. It broke my heart. I know that sometimes kids misbehave and of course as a parent you must discipline your children but there is a difference between discipline and abuse. A big difference. Later in the day we were back in Namatala and I had Chede's medicine with me so we stopped by to give it to her. When we got there Chede was sitting on the ground screaming and crying. As we walked up I was asking her what was wrong (even though she doesn't understand me) and a kid came up to me and quietly told me that her mother had beaten her. I didn't want to believe it so I decided to get Paul to ask what was wrong. He told me the same thing. A few minutes later Chede's neighbor Kristyn came and told me the same story. They use the term "beat" lightly so I was hoping they meant that she spanked her but upon inspection I could see scrapes all over her arms and legs. Nothing too bad but definitely scrapes that hadn't been there before. She was crying/upset for a long time and I just held her. My sweet baby. I feel so helpless in Namatala sometimes. This was one of those times. It's such a big problem and I feel like my hands are tied. Just have to keep praying that the situation would change.
The big thing that Kristyn and I have been dealing with lately is a little boy named Tom. Tom is an ichooseyou sibling. This particular family has 10 kids and the dad is basically a no show. We think he may send some money home but mostly he uses it for his alcohol addiction and only comes home to make another baby. So the family has a lot of needs simply because they are in an awful situation. The mom is so young and married to a dead beat. She could probably get out of the situation and change things a little of she really wanted to but I think she is probably scared. Tom is somewhere between 3-5 and has been sick for the past 2-3 weeks. His sister. Masse, got sick first with malaria and we took her to the doctor while the team was still around. Then the very next day Tom had a fever so we all assumed he has malaria as well. There was enough medication for him too so we told them to give it to him. They didn't. Basically a grandmother (very old) and a 12 year old are taking care of the family now and I think they either forgot or just didn't have the energy to force it. (he hates it.) so Tom wasn't getting medication. A couple days ago we went to check on Tom and it was bad. In fact bad isn't a strong enough word to describe the situation. He would barely even open his eyes when we were there. We were told he isn't eating but he is vomiting and has diarrhea. He definitely had a fever that was entirely too high. Kristyn and I knew we had to do something but just didn't know what. It was clear to us that if we didn't do something he most likely wasn't going to make it. After talking, praying, and asking a friend for advice we decided to take him in for a malaria test and see what the doctor said. When we got there they took his temperature, which was 40 degrees C, and immediately gave him fever medicine. When the doctor saw him he went ahead and did the malaria test but told us that he was pretty sure the boy had pneumonia. He said that if it were malaria, with that temperature, the boy would be seizing. Sure enough the malaria test was negative. The doctor told us that the boy really needed to be admitted and stay over night. When we asked about other options the doctor looked terrified and said that the boy wasn't going to get better without an IV and that they really needed him to stay the night. The price is dirt cheap, less than $10, so we decided to follow the doctors orders. As of now Tom's fever is a lot better! He still isn't breathing well but the fever being down is a huge improvement. I can't even explain to you how incredibly sick Tom was. I have never seen a child look so sick before. He didn't even look like he was with us really. He looked far away and miserable. I'm so glad we helped him. I honestly believe that Tom wouldn't have made it without that doctor visit. This family is going to need a serious change in order to make life better for them but I believe that with help the mama can do it. Hopefully she will.
Lately we have seen so much and started to see what everyday life is like for these people. In some ways I envy the simple life they lead. Then there are things that break my heart as well. God has me here for a reason. Still praying for guidance and to see what that reason is but it is getting clearer each day. Keep praying with me please!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
