75% there!

I would say I'm about 75% packed! Have everything except what I will need to use or wear for the next 4 days in bags. The bags are fairly organized but have not been weighed. I have only a few more items arriving in the mail (hopefully tomorrow) and I have a couple things left to purchase. I need to get my eyebrows waxed, and a pedicure would be lovely! (Priorities people.) 

I'm at the point where I kind of don't care if I forget something. I'm just tired of making lists and checking them 5 million times. If it makes it to Uganda with me, great! If not, I won't die without it. 

I'm also ready to be out of what I have deemed the "twilight phase." The twilight phase is the part of moving or leaving somewhere and someone you love in which you are not leaving yet but you are already removed. The twilight phase doesn't always occur. If you leave on a whim there is no time for the twilight phase. If you are only visiting a place or people you love for a short time (I'm talking a few weeks) there may not be time for this phase either. If you are really, really good at being truly present at all times then I would imagine you are completely unfamiliar with this phase nor would you understand it. For the rest of us it goes something like this: 

You are no longer working but can't really pack yet because you need everything you would pack so you just sit around doing nothing watching HGTV all day because all of your friends are adults with jobs. (I'm out of breath after that run-on!)

Or you say goodbye to a friend and then run into her accidentally 5 more times around town. Or on purpose. Some goodbyes just need an extension. 

Then there is the "I have eaten SO MUCH FOOD but I'm leaving in 4 days and ice cream and Mexican food just aren't the same in Uganda. I'll take both please." Ever been tired of eating? I'm so over it. Done. With. Food. What am I saying?! I'm going to regret this in exactly 5 days. Wait for it. That post will be titled, "WHYYYYY?!?!?!" 

Get the picture? This my friends, is the twilight phase of leaving. Emotional blocks? Twilight phase. Mental blocks? Twilight phase. Oxygen blocks? Twilight phase. (That one is also just a normal side effect of leaving loved ones for extended periods of time.) I think you understand now. For me this phase is usually categorized by an inability to think clearly or process exactly what is about to happen. I don't think I'm the only one. 

Have you ever experienced this? Do you have your own name for it? I would love to hear your stories and see what you call this phase of leaving. Leave a comment below! 

Snow, shopping, and shower curtains

Apparently we should be living in a winter wonderland again tonight and tomorrow. Two weeks in a row? How lucky are we?! Not. Texas... Anyways as usual we will have freezing stuff going on today and tomorrow and be back up to 75 by Friday. 

Meanwhile I haven't started packing yet. Well, that's not true. I started... Ha. Maybe being iced in will be a good way to get me to finish packing. One can dream! 

I went shopping for Teko Brian today with my dad! He is going to be one very smart looking boy. Be excited for pictures! Very excited. 

I also would like to inform you that I now have a shower curtain and a bath rug to match it and I am SO EXCITED. The plastic things they sell in Mbale work but now I will have a REAL SHOWER CURTAIN! And it is so pretty. And bright! Coral and orange and wonderful. Little things :-)

Well now that I've given you an informative albeit useless update, I must go. I know you're sad, but don't worry. I'll be back. There are many more useless updates to come. I promise!

This is amazing because of Jesus

These shopping trips make it so real! A week from now I will be in Uganda. Wow. Talk about slight panic. Do I have everything I need? Is it all going to fit? Do I know where my passport is?! (Don't worry, I do. I think...) 

Then there is the sadness that comes along with doing something for the "last time." Seeing people at church for the "last time." Eating at my favorite restaurants for the "last time." Seeing friends for the "last time." It's all kind of sad. 

But there is also excitement. Packing clothes for my kids and knowing I'll be holding them again so soon! Packing items I'm taking back for friends and realizing we will be reunited oh so soon. Packing summer clothing and anticipating 90 degree weather in just one week! It is exciting for sure. 

This is how big change goes. Every time. Thank you Jesus for having enough grace to carry me through this. Thank you for your wonderful plans for my life! This is amazing. This sad yet exciting week is amazing because of Jesus. Thank you Lord! 

Keep praying friends! I can always use your prayers :-) 

How to survive Icepocalypse 2014 in Austin, TX

• Do not go outside!!!!!! If you must, follow the rest of my instructions carefully.

• Dry your hair. Icy hair is never good. Just do it. 

• Lots of socks. You don't actually need to be able to walk normally. Walking like a penguin > losing toes. End of story. 

• Layer Layer Layer. Wear leggings under your pants. Wear every shirt you can find. There is no shame in wearing 5 coats. You may look like a snow man but you will not feel like one. This is all that matters. 

• Do NOT try to be brave! This is Icepocalypse 2014 people! Cancel all of your plans and go into survival mode. We cannot let the tiny patches of snow/ice mix win!!!

God will provide.

As many of you know, I am returning to Uganda February 1st! God put it on my heart to purchase the ticket in faith even though I am no where near fully funded. If I'm honest, I probably would have ignored his nudging to step out in faith had He not provided the money for the ticket in such an awesome way. 

Long story short, my sweet friend Emily felt called to give to me and in a step of obedience wrote me a check for exactly the amout I lacked for a plane ticket. Oh by the way, Emily is a college student and will be working at a full time unpaid internship next semester. This is huge!! I cannot tell you what this courageous act of obedience did for my heart. I could just hear God saying, "Trust me baby girl. I did not bring you this far to leave you stranded!" 

So even though it took every ounce of faith I have, I bought my plane ticket!!! While I KNOW that God is going to provide, I also know it is going to take many more people listening to the voice of God telling them to step out in faith and give. 

I want you to know a few things... 

I know giving monthly isn't easy. I know a lot of people don't have a whole lot of wiggle room in their budgets these days. I know that if you hear "it's only one less night out a month!" one more time you will want to punch someone. 

I also know that God is a big God. God knows it isn't easy, the wiggle room is sparce, and you hate hearing that line. But he is greater than all of it. If you think you hear the voice of God asking you to give, to anyone, listen and obey. See what he will do with your courageous act of obedience! Maybe there won't be some immediate gratification. I would go as far as to say there won't be. But God will provide. And even if the only reward you ever get for your obedience comes in the form of hearing "well done good and faithful servant" when you reach heavens gates, it will be worth it! Obedience to God is always worth the cost. You can never lose when you say yes to what The Lord is asking you to do. 

My challenge for you right now:

Ask him if he is calling you to support me monthly with an honest and open heart. If he says no, leave it at that in peace. If he says yes, take that step of faith and obey! It would be a tremendous blessing to me. I can't fund myself. It is going to take The Lord working in all of you to make this happen. God will provide. Will you be a part of it? 

My sweet friend Kayla

I have amazing friends both in America and Uganda. They are always so encouraging and bless me beyond measure. Today I want to tell you about my friend Kayla.

Kayla is a rockstar! Kayla lives in Mbale, Uganda with her husband Matt and her two beautiful children Micah and Julia. Kayla is a fairly new friend, but she was a fast friend. When she realized I would be leaving for the holidays and was in need of someone to help me keep things running smoothly while I was gone, she offered her service immediately. 

I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for this lady!!! Before she offered to keep things going for me I was having nightmares of all the crazy things that could happen while I was gone and trying to figure out what I would do about it. God is good. He brought her to us at just the right time! 

I have been able to breathe easy and enjoy my time at home knowing that she is there to keep things going and handle anything that may come up. She has been so wonderful and I can tell from the pictures that the women love her just as much as I do! 

What a blessing. What a blessing to know that business is happening as usual. What a blessing to know that the women I love are getting to know Kayla, be blessed by her, and bless her too. What a blessing to be able to know what is going on! What a blessing to have such a wonderful friend. 

God is good friends! 

A few thoughts (aka a rant) on Happily Ever After

I read something online today and it got me thinking about the term "happily ever after." 

We have all heard it, and possibly even fallen for it.

She met the perfect man and lived happily ever after...

He got the perfect job/promotion and lived happily ever after...

They finally got pregnant and lived happily ever after...

The adoption was finalized and they lived happily ever after...

They bought a huge home, nice car, sweet boat, (fill in the blank) and lived happily ever after...

You get the idea. And most likely, you relate to one of those statements. But if you're human, which I'm hoping you are, you're probably wondering what happened to happily ever after. 

I've fallen for it. I tend to fall into the category of waiting for my happily ever after. IF I could just (fill in the blank) I would live happily ever after. But there are a couple happily ever afters I seem to have misplaced. 

I would like to tell you a little bit about one of my misplaced happily ever afters...

I first went to Uganda in 2011. Honestly, I had zero expectations of ever wanting to go back, let alone live there before I went the first time. It was just going to be a neat experience and a check off of a bucket list. Then God moved. Big time. Long story short, a year and a half later I found myself at a board meeting asking permission to work for ichooseyou in Uganda for at least 6 months. They agreed! By the grace of God I was going. THIS was going to be my happily ever after. Ha...

This is what happily ever after really looks like:

Cold feet. About a month or so before I was supposed to leave for Uganda I started getting cold feet. I would worry about being homesick, not making any friends, not knowing what to do, how to get around town, how to communicate, etc. I was one big worry. It wasn't my proudest moment. 

Homesickness and literall sickness. For the first month or so in Uganda I was unbelievably homesick. Looking back, I wasn't willing to loosen my grip on my fears enough to let God take them away. So instead I was just miserable and feeling like I had made a huge mistake. Thank God for his sweet mercy and grace in the form of Malaria when my homesickness was at its worst! I know that sounds crazy. It sort of is. Don't get me wrong, malaria is awful, but I did it! I survived my first battle with malaria. And in the midst of it all, God have me the sweet gift of friendship. I realized through my physical illness that I had a lot of people around me that were trying to be my friends. A couple people in particular helped to turn things around for me. One of my Ugandan friends was constantly encouraging me to go to The Lord when I felt bad. A couple sweet Mzungu girls were reaching out to me and inviting me in. (One of them literally invited me into her home. Now she can't get rid of me! Haha) I don't know what I would have done without those friends! 

Inadequacy. I hope I'm not the only one that struggles with this, but there it is. I said it. I fall short in every area of life you could imagine. 

Language learning. Why is it so hard?!?! Where do I even start?!! Do I have to?

Starting a business. Haha. Enough said?

Learning to communicate in a new culture without offending people every other second. Who knew it would be so easy to offend people?!

Maintaining relationships back home. I'm awful at this. It is a miracle that my friends and family still talk to me and love me. Thank you. 

I think you get the picture again. I fall short. Every time.

Then there are the day to day things...

Falling off the boda boda on my first attempt at sitting side saddle. (Go ahead, laugh. I do too now.)

Getting peed on in church.

Getting peed on in namatala.

Eating rice and one small piece of meat every night for 6 weeks. 

Cleaning wounds every day. So. Many. Wounds.

Learning appropriate boda prices and realizing I've been cheated in the process.

Malnutrition everywhere and not enough money to help everyone. 

Finding poop on your bedroom floor because your baby girl is too thin to keep a diaper up.

Having to clean up poop at the local hotel because your baby girl had a bit of a poop explosion by the pool.

Power outtages. Every day.

One very long power outtage and 4 kerosene lamps that don't work. 

Rain, rain, and more rain.

Having to leave your babies.

Again, you get the idea. 

Happily ever after is a very wonderful thought, but highly unrealistic. 

Crazily ever after with a whole lot of fun and happy and unfortunately a little bit of sad in between might be a little more realistic. I think we tell the happily ever after stories as a way of maintaining hope. The problem is that it is false hope. 

What we should really be doing is telling stories to maintain true hope. Hope in Jesus. Hope for eternity! 

What if we were honest about it? Sure, I'm going to live happily ever after. When I reach heavens gates! Until then, I will live my own special version of ever after that is quite a bit more messy than the fairy tales. It will be worth it. And I will be grateful for what I'm given and hold onto the hope of heaven when things get hard. 

My point?

Encourage eternal hope in someone today. Fill you children's minds with hope that lasts instead of unrealistic expectations of happily ever after. Live out your own hope for eternity when your happily ever after seems to be misplaced. 

Thanks for reading. If you made not all the way to here you are a champ. Rant over.